So, for the last week or so, I've totally not felt like myself...might just be a matter of not enough sleep, but I don't see any time coming up when I can get the rest I might need. Ugg...so I'm spending most days just feeling irritable and pissed off at everyone, but AWARE that I'm feeling that way for no reason, so I try to blow it off and be happy to everyone's face, and reasonable, and the whole lot. But then when I get by myself, I'm grumpy and not wanting to move, and wonder if I'm depressed, and then I think about maybe it's due to that time of the month coming up, but then again, I don't usually feel not-like-myself for THIS long prior to that, and...and...ARGH. So that's why I wonder if it's a case of no-sleep.

On the work side of things, my manager has been very nice to me lately, and has set up meetings with individual team members in order to make us talk more often, which I think is a good thing. However, I'm still seeing inconsistencies in some areas, such as why I'm denied the chance to go to a local seminar for $900 total, but he can fly 4 of his little buddies to Orlando for a 3-day conference, all expenses paid, and the rest of our team wasn't even asked if they wanted to go. >:( I think at some point, everything's going to blow up and get really ugly. Not a fun feeling.

The car is still out of commission, which has me driving the horrible van still. That might also have something to do with why I'm so out of it...no music to listen to makes for a very depressing ride to and from work. I'm looking into the possibility of getting a new car, so we can end this stupid game of what-car-will-work-today?...only thing is, I can't afford a monthy payment of more than about $160/mo. We'll see what's out there, I guess.

So, I'm off to a meeting now...time to put on the agreeable face and pretend I'm not wishing I had a big sword behind my back with which I could chop the table in half.